Since I don't want to seem crazy...

I am so sick of the mind games we play with people we care about. I hate that I have to be a bitch to the guy I love and ignore him for days so he'll pay some kind of attention to me. That's an eye opening sentence, why the fuck do I still even care? There are atleast 2 guys out there who do nothing but try to be with me and I don't give them the time of day, they are the ones who actually deserve a chance. When the fuck am I going to realize that this dude doesn't care about me? Why pretend like you don't want to spend time with me until I freak out. what an asshole. and a loser.

My sister says I need to be by myself for a while and not date anybody, but since I have literally lost all my friends because I keep going back to the asshole, it's a pretty lonely existance. And by the way, what "friend" stops being your friend for the mistakes you make.

Whatever, I just want to get to Texas and be done with this place, like chelsea handler said tonight, this place is making a lot of fertilizer and it's growing a lot of ASSHOLES.

Procrastinating...

Men.

This whole thing with Tiger Woods & Jesse James of late really just makes me loose all faith. We all have wandering eyes, sure, but how do you know your significant other won't actually act on it?

I am single. really really really single. my ex, well, can I just say that man is an island. Commitment scares the living day lights out of him, he literally cannot even commit to hanging out, so you know it's bad. Good riddance.

I am having a really hard time meeting quality men, meeting guys is so easy, but most of the time they are so not worth it it's disgusting. They say when you stop looking, he will find you.

So I'm not looking anymore. (COME FIND ME!) hahaha

Chances are, I'll be writing about you!

I ain't got no respect! naww... I feel like everyone in my life is doing what they are meant to be doing, they don't have it all figured out by any means but they are certainly on the correct path. Me however, I am a drifter. A drifter who is writing this post instead of doing her accounting homework and browsing the NPR website for some of my favorite musical artists.

My 2009 faves for the indie sector were most certainly... Fleet Foxes, Thao Nguyen & Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Fleet Foxes & Edward Sharpe were introduced to me by a former flame, one I regretfully let go. So here's to you Roberto. Happy 2010.

Thao Nguyen was brought to me by 89.3 the current, Minnesota's best indie music network where many of my friends have been featured... the Guystorm, Touissant Morrision and his many musical feats... to name a few. I have been so lucky in the past few months to know these people and their bands and to experiance their growth as artists and success.

But... WHEN DO I GET A CHANCE?!!!

So I just read on Refinery29.com that Urban Outfitters plans on designing a line of wedding gowns with the anthropologie team and selling the gowns through Urban....

I love this concept! Should I ever get married I already know the most expensive part of my outfit will be my shoes, they will be blue. My dress will be below the knee, tea length, and lace, and body hugging with an open back and vintage buttons... not that I ever want to be married.

Just sayin....

read the article here : http://http://www.refinery29.com/urban-outfitters-to-launch-bridal-goods-in-2010.php

I'm Cranky.

Here's what I would hope my future husband would do if let's say, he were too broke to afford gas to come see me. Oh sure, I could hop in my car, drive the 20 minute treck, no big deal. It's the principle of the matter my friends, I do ALL of the driving, ALL of the paying to spend time with someone who quite obviously does not want to try to spend time with me. That is why this loser is not my future husband. But, I would hope that my future husband, should he be in this same predicament, learn to use the bus/ lightrail system. Take the 16 idiot, to the metrodome, take the lightrail to MOA where I would lovingly pick you up. This costs 1.75 for the bus and 1.75 for the lightrail. Really expensive. And where does all your money go anyway dear "friend".

I need to meet a new guy, ASAP. Otherwise I'm very very close to losing all faith in (man)kind.

Opitz Outlets

So I have two days off. in a row. So of course I'm going completely batshit crazy! So I decided, Self, you've wanted to check out some local thrift shop/ high end consignment places for like, your whole life. So I did it.

In my hands I had 60 dollar Marc by Marc shirts, bountiful handfuls of designer shoes but a lack of funds. So instead, I walked out with 45 dollar Modern Vintage heels, a cool 80% off retail price of $236 and a 9 dollar gorgeous jewel necklace. We all know I'm a sucker for jewels.

Apparently tomorrow at Opitz they are having a designer shoe sale, they were preparing themselves for it as I was circling the racks like a fashion shark. So now I must consider my lack of funds as well as the availability of Christian Louboutains that will be there. God do I want a pair of those. I have about 5 coveted items, Christian L's, Dolce & Gabanna Corset dress, Marc Jacobs purse, Baleciaga purse and of course Alexis Bittar jewels.

Check out my finds...

So I've gained like 10 lbs, and I hate myself for it. I think I can honestly attribute it to the excessive drinking lately (It was my birthday) and the COFFEE I have been obsessively drinking. I know right?! I have a Caribou obsession, the new melted chocolate business has been catering to my every desire. I generally get a medium, skim mocha with the melty milk chocolate. Calories intake : 520!!!!!! VOMIT. And that's if I get one a day. Some days I get two. NO shit I've gained 10 lbs huh. So here is my lent resolution, give up this shit and replace it with this... A Northern Lite Latte: 130 calories. Still A LOT for a drink but so much better than a fucking meal. OR, start buying ground coffee again for my apartment and save so much money by doing that too. I would also have to say, I've been eating too much cheese and too much egg for my liking, I never used to like that stuff either. And carbs too. Sure my diet was not healthy last year, lite soups and skittles, that's it. But if I can find a way to maintain a 105 lb. body I'd like to. Anyhoo. goodnight!