Changes

I'm freaking out here people!

So I'm moving in with a friend, and I'm not in love with the apartment he REALLY, I mean, REALLY wants. I know I can afford it, but shit's gonna be tight, ya know what I'm saying? BUT, I just landed an interview as a receptionist at a financial, but I plan on keeping my teller financial gig. So essentially I would be working 6:45 to 5:3o on a daily basis. That would be CASH money. Financial's pay really really well. I doubt they'll hire me if they know I work at another financial but, hey, why not try. So good things are happening for me, but I really love my little studio, and I wouldn't mind staying here, so what do I do? Break my friends heart and stay or move?

Carotid Bruit...

So today I was at my place of work & feeling fine but grouchy due to the weather, I was not there for not close to an hour and a half and all of the sudden I knew I was going to faint! So I excused myself and ran to the breakroom, I never fainted but I felt odd for a good hour, so my mom graciously came and got me and took me to an urgent care to see what the hell was wrong with her baby. We have heart problems in our family so the irregular heartbeat is no big thang, but ever since I fainted HARD in the fall in an empty elevator, I've been extremely scared of fainting. The doc examined me for a long long time, ears are clean, no fever, no issues with breathing HOWEVER, the right side of my neck and it's artery isn't creating the correct noise of blood flow. He said he heard clicking in the valve, as if the blood was having a hard time getting to my brain ( Insert stereotypical girl jokes here) thus creating the dizziness & fainting. So... expect more news on this in the future.

I haven't been sick in a while, a cold here and there, but not like what I had last year, and with the cancer and heart stuff that runs in my family... I get freaked out people!

Since I don't want to seem crazy...

I am so sick of the mind games we play with people we care about. I hate that I have to be a bitch to the guy I love and ignore him for days so he'll pay some kind of attention to me. That's an eye opening sentence, why the fuck do I still even care? There are atleast 2 guys out there who do nothing but try to be with me and I don't give them the time of day, they are the ones who actually deserve a chance. When the fuck am I going to realize that this dude doesn't care about me? Why pretend like you don't want to spend time with me until I freak out. what an asshole. and a loser.

My sister says I need to be by myself for a while and not date anybody, but since I have literally lost all my friends because I keep going back to the asshole, it's a pretty lonely existance. And by the way, what "friend" stops being your friend for the mistakes you make.

Whatever, I just want to get to Texas and be done with this place, like chelsea handler said tonight, this place is making a lot of fertilizer and it's growing a lot of ASSHOLES.

Procrastinating...

Men.

This whole thing with Tiger Woods & Jesse James of late really just makes me loose all faith. We all have wandering eyes, sure, but how do you know your significant other won't actually act on it?

I am single. really really really single. my ex, well, can I just say that man is an island. Commitment scares the living day lights out of him, he literally cannot even commit to hanging out, so you know it's bad. Good riddance.

I am having a really hard time meeting quality men, meeting guys is so easy, but most of the time they are so not worth it it's disgusting. They say when you stop looking, he will find you.

So I'm not looking anymore. (COME FIND ME!) hahaha

Chances are, I'll be writing about you!

I ain't got no respect! naww... I feel like everyone in my life is doing what they are meant to be doing, they don't have it all figured out by any means but they are certainly on the correct path. Me however, I am a drifter. A drifter who is writing this post instead of doing her accounting homework and browsing the NPR website for some of my favorite musical artists.

My 2009 faves for the indie sector were most certainly... Fleet Foxes, Thao Nguyen & Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Fleet Foxes & Edward Sharpe were introduced to me by a former flame, one I regretfully let go. So here's to you Roberto. Happy 2010.

Thao Nguyen was brought to me by 89.3 the current, Minnesota's best indie music network where many of my friends have been featured... the Guystorm, Touissant Morrision and his many musical feats... to name a few. I have been so lucky in the past few months to know these people and their bands and to experiance their growth as artists and success.

But... WHEN DO I GET A CHANCE?!!!

So I just read on Refinery29.com that Urban Outfitters plans on designing a line of wedding gowns with the anthropologie team and selling the gowns through Urban....

I love this concept! Should I ever get married I already know the most expensive part of my outfit will be my shoes, they will be blue. My dress will be below the knee, tea length, and lace, and body hugging with an open back and vintage buttons... not that I ever want to be married.

Just sayin....

read the article here : http://http://www.refinery29.com/urban-outfitters-to-launch-bridal-goods-in-2010.php

I'm Cranky.

Here's what I would hope my future husband would do if let's say, he were too broke to afford gas to come see me. Oh sure, I could hop in my car, drive the 20 minute treck, no big deal. It's the principle of the matter my friends, I do ALL of the driving, ALL of the paying to spend time with someone who quite obviously does not want to try to spend time with me. That is why this loser is not my future husband. But, I would hope that my future husband, should he be in this same predicament, learn to use the bus/ lightrail system. Take the 16 idiot, to the metrodome, take the lightrail to MOA where I would lovingly pick you up. This costs 1.75 for the bus and 1.75 for the lightrail. Really expensive. And where does all your money go anyway dear "friend".

I need to meet a new guy, ASAP. Otherwise I'm very very close to losing all faith in (man)kind.